Soccer

I am too old to play this, yet I just need it. It makes me happy. I have played soccer since I was four. It IS my form of exercise. If I don't play, I don't exercise. Last April I hurt my knee playing indoor coed soccer. When we picked up CiCi in July, it was still bothering me a bit. When it comes to going to the doctor, I am a wimp - so I never did get it checked out. By August my knee felt better, but I was busy running three kids all over town. Remember if I don't play soccer, I don't exercise (other than running three kids around) Finally last month I decided I was ready to play again. I needed to play again. I sucked. I couldn't run. I couldn't breathe. I was playing indoor soccer for a new team. They didn't know that I used to be able to play. All they knew is what they saw and I was pathetic. I think the only thing that made me show up the next week is my ingrained desire to prove myself. But the next game I still sucked. Same with the next. I truly couldn't last. I thought my lungs might explode. On my way to my game last week I told my best friend that I would finish out the season, but that I thought my soccer days were over. I meant it and I was sad. That night I got an assist and actually felt like a player again. My new team asked me to play outdoor soccer with them. I told them I would think about it. A little confidence came back to me, but I still couldn't breathe. So tonight I actually played great - in very short bursts. After last week I think my team gained enough trust in me to sub me in and out more knowing that I was completely out of shape, but a better player than they had realized. So tonight I assisted one goal and scored two and they told me that I would be playing outdoor with them. I feel loved. Of course I still can't breathe for long and since I know me I know I won't be doing any thing else to get in shape, but the outdoor field is a mile from my house. What do I have to lose? I constantly wish that I had learned to play a sport that you can continue to play throughout adulthood - like tennis or maybe even volleyball (I HATE golf), but maybe I will be able to ride this soccer train a little longer. I play with 16 year olds and 45 year olds, I feel young and old all at the same time when I am out there playing. But I enjoy it and I really need to get back in shape and I really need to lose weight so this 34 year old is gonna keep on kickin'....
My kids were so proud when I told them about my goals - you would have thought I'd run a marathon. I love the adoration of my children!!!!!